I LOVE CHRISTMAS CARDS

My fridge is currently plastered with wonderful photo Christmas cards. I LOVE Christmas cards. I love the anticipation of going to the mailbox hoping and being so excited. The current record is SIX in one day. The electronic cards are fun too. I just love being connected with so many great people during this wonderful time of year.

In & Out Burger Comes to Orem, UT

Yes,Utah County has experienced much happiness this week. Millie anxiously waited in line. She ordered a "meat pattie/no salt"! As she - not so daintily - snarfed her burger, the California girl in her was very happy.

She did have to put on her sweater and wrap in a blanket in order to go for the drive to get her burger though.

First IKEA - now In & Out - we're really moving up in the world!

Happy Halloween

I was able to attend the Second Grade Halloween program for Joseph, a handsome you man that is the son of a dear friend. It has been a long time since I have attended a school program. Sitting there, laughing at cute knock-knock jokes brought me a lot of joy. I'm so blessed with such great friends with such cute kids.

I hope Michelle doesn't mind that I've posted this cute picture. Mahlia is adorable, Joseph was a "warlock" in his school program, and cute Jackson. I love this family!

Laurel turned 24 today...

But by this picture ya gotta wonder???

There is no Sneezing in Heaven...

Yes, I've just decided. Those that know me well, know that I am allergic to the world right now. Fall...itchie, watery eyes, drippy nose and wheezing as the lawns are mowed each Saturday morning.

Heaven will only be heaven so long as there are no allergies.

Elephants

My family all knows that I have a thing for elephants. It started when I was quite young. We took many trips to Como Park Zoo. I have in my possession a little white stone elephant my father bought for me as a young girl. I remember one especially fun trip to St. Louis, MO where we visited the zoo. I have visited zoos and elephants wherever we have traveled. Even Brian has given me an elephant that sits on my bed. So today when I was reading about the baby elephant at Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake City, a part of me got excited. I'm pretty sure I'm driving to Hogle Zoo this weekend to see Christie's baby girl. One of my favorite scenes from Dumbo:

3:00 AM is Never a Good Time to be Awake at my Age...

Okay, Millie is up for adoption! Seriously, barking at NOTHING! I'm convinced that if someone really was trying to get into the house...we wouldn't be able to find her. I am SO NOT HAPPY with her right now. I have so much to do on Saturday and my beauty sleep isn't happening right now. I'm in trouble...well, or maybe those that live with me. I do not do well without sleep.

Fort Bridger Rendezvous

Millie and I had a little road trip today. We drove to Fort Bridger, Wyoming. Labor Day Weekend is the Fort Bridger Rendezvous. It only took a couple of hours to get there. Millie wasn't very excited about the trip today. It was more of a "seriously, are we there yet?" moment for her.

















Fortunately, we found my BYU co-worker, Rick, and were able to enjoy the Fort, Traders and do a whole lot of people watching. It really was very interesting and I found the items the Traders were selling of good quality and quite interesting. They were all very friendly and fun to visit with. Millie, as always had many admirers. Well, there were a few "look at the ears on that one" comments, but Millie handled it in her Diva way...totally ignoring them. She didn't bark or act up, but was mostly overwhelmed, I think by all the people and animals. She really wasn't too sure about the horses and preferred to be carried rather than walk with her leash.

All-in-all it was a fun little day trip...good for my soul. The drive was beautiful. Storms were moving through on my way home and there were some pretty dramatic views. I decided though that Wyoming should be nicknamed the "windmill" state.

Baby List...

I LOVE BABIES. I love hearing when someone is expecting. I love my little baby list. It is right by my phone at work. It reminds me to think of these special women in my life and send little prayers heavenward as they get closer to their "due date". The wonderful thing about working at BYU is that there is always someone to add to my baby list. I feel so blessed to have so many students that pass through our division working through school. I must admit it is hard when they leave and think they can get on with their lives after graduation. I miss them - it is truly selfish, I know. But through snail mail, email, blogging and facebook, I've been able to keep in touch. It is wonderful to watch little families grow! I'm even blessed to have some of these special little families allow me to be "grandma or auntie Cindy" - that is the BEST part. So thanks to all of you for your love and friendship. Thanks to those of you that let me share in your lives. I love my baby list!

Memory Lane

I had a little 'bout of infections this past week or so. It was somewhat frustrating - no it was real frustrating but I decided the best thing would be to go with the flow and try to relax. So, I sorted through stuff some more. Many things were finally tossed, but treasures of letters from my parents were reread. One thing that has become clear to me was that as I read letters from my father when he was closer to my present age...that little message about the seasons of our lives is so true. So this week, even though my father passed away in March, I felt him close, felt his love and felt him a part of the process of being reminded to be gentle with myself. I am so human and though my spirit wants to soar and do things in a far better way. I fall short. I am a spirit having a human experience. Sometimes things in this life "suck" a bit, but the good can still out weigh the bad. And when I have a moment when I feel overwhelmed, I am so very grateful for heavenly and earthly angels that I feel close by to help me take courage, count my blessings and move onward. I find when i don't feel well, it is far easier for me to fall into a "pity party". This week I realized that we all have those moments and what a blessing it is to have people in our lives to help us "fill our cup" again - do whatever it takes to replenish our souls. I'm grateful for doctor's offices that really will "work you in" and antibiotics that, though they cause havoc with our bodies, they really do kill the bad stuff. I'm grateful for a son that can give priesthood blessings and that feeling of waking up in the morning and realizing that nothing hurts. Ah, blessed health!

And contrary to the rumors Vanessa is trying to circulate, I have not been abducted by aliens and had infections injected into my body. It just seemed that way for a while!

SHE DID IT!!! Way to go Vanessa...

Friday, August 14, 2009 was a wonderful day. We attended Vanessa's Convocation for receiving her Master's. I'm so happy for her and her accomplishment of reaching this goal in her life.

Well, Julie has new friends at her work. She has been fussing about the names, however, apparently none of the suggestions she solicited from us were good options. We shall leave the naming to her. Meanwhile we're all shaking our heads in wonderment. I mean seriously - FROGS???

Ah, Harry Potter...

Those that know me well know I LOVE movies. Julie and I have this little joke thing going on. Yes, last night was our "anniversary date". Brian, Julie and I went to Harry Potter - IMAX. I might be addicted now. Oh, movies are great!

Just when I think my heart is going to explode with love for my kids, I think of them and realize it has expanded again. I feel SO blessed to call these wonderful people my children.

Minding my own business and the law...I thought.

So, I took a few days off work - just to chill, relax do whatever. One of the things I had decided was to attend the Family History Conference at BYU. So I'm headed over to Provo taking the back way because I hate the freeway these days. Pretty soon I see a highway patrol car behind me. No worries, I'm going the speed limit. As I turn on to the frontage road his lights go on. I pull over, while I grab my license, car registration etc. So, he's asking me these weird questions, where am I headed, where do I work, do I always take the back roads rather than the freeway? Finally, the reason I'm pulled over---did I know I had a brake light out? He takes my license and goes back to his car. I'm sitting there and happen to glance into my review mirror. Another highway patrol has pulled up. So I've got two cars with their lights going while they are sitting in the car talking and laughing. I'm thinking it's a bit much. So lessoned learned - when you see a car pulled over with a bunch of highway patrol cars lined up. It isn't a drug bust or something. It could be a little middle-aged lady with a burned out brake light just trying to get to the family history conference. So much for a "restful" drive to work early on a Tuesday morning. PS The bulb has probably just come loose from all the "bumps" due to road construction. I hate road construction. And brake lights.

Technology is not agreeing with me these days...

It is not good for me to discover at 3:00 in the afternoon the day before a Pioneer Day weekend that the migration of my information to a new email account didn't include my contacts.

I've worked at BYU for nineteen years. All my little addresses have followed me through my jobs. All my group lists that go out to various committees and groups. To have my little CSR Tech's calmly say: "oh, sorry, yeah - they're probably gone" did not sit well with me. I called the main number and found out that really the old account wasn't totally gone and they COULD just activate it for a bit and transfer the information over. BOY, am I glad I didn't take the little techie's word for it. Within a half hour I was breathing normally again happily looking all all my Outlook Email Contacts.

All was good in my world again. Technology - worst enemy/best friend. It is a total love/hate relationship!

It is a good thing that it IS a long weekend. I need to get away from work.

162 Days Until Christmas

Time doesn't just "fly" by it is worse than that. I find myself shaking my head and wondering why it seems so fast. I feel like a scene from the old TV show "Bewitched" when she would make herself move really fast to get things done. Well, it feels like I'm moving really fast, but I don't think I'm getting things done.

Perhaps that's why sometimes I just go for a drive. Provo Canyon on my lunch hour. Pull in a parking lot and just sit and listen...to the river, the birds and eventually feel like I'm back in touch with me again.

Heavenly Father is wise to counsel us to "BE STILL".

The Storage Room

Boxes yellowed with age. No - they are not boxes from great great grandparents. They are from when I was a student at BYU and first married. THAT was a few years ago!

I've cursed myself lately for keeping too many things. This morning when I opened a box, I knew I was going to really walk down memory lane. 1974-1975 - my freshman year at BYU. Letters from my father. Having lost him earlier this year it didn't take long for tears to come as I read. My mind was thrown back to sitting on my bed in Wells Hall. I was just as eager to read the letters this morning as I remembered first getting them. And of course, his closing to his letters, "God Bless" always present.

Oh, I know I can certainly do better about throwing things away. But this morning, I'm very grateful that I've shuffled that box from place to place for the last thirty-five years.

So, attack of the potato vines - new horror flick from the Swenson basement. Laurel said to put Christmas lights on them - I did. What can I say - I'm home de-junking and needed a break!

I Guess I've Lived Long Enough

I've been pondering this for a while. I've decided, I guess I've lived long enough. See, I've lived enough and collected enough stuff that I've been asked by my children if they can have my stuff when I die. So that must mean I've reach a certain milestone that I've got enough "stuff" that is "valued" so that I could leave this life and know that my memory will live on. You know...they can say: "This is my stuff now, but it belonged to my mother and before that her grandmother." The links are there. I must admit - there is a certain amount of "peace" found. Isn't it great that I've actually aquired something that my children WANT?
So, now I think since I'm tired of all the "stuff" that I'll just keep the "stuff" they want and have a big bonfire. Especially because the only "stuff" that really means anything to me are the people in my life and the memories with them. Which is really what we're all connected to anyway. Sometimes the "stuff" is what brings back the memories.

Passwords

I remember having a discussion with my father when I first got my Social Security Number. He counseled me to memorize it. I did so and put it in my head with my address and phone number. I had a fairly normal childhood - memorize the bike combination, the locker combination. License plate number, Driver's license - it was all pretty simple.

I find it very unfair that the older I've gotten when my brain doesn't always "find" information as quickly, that I have to have a password for everything. Scottie and I were talking one day and he told me my blackberry had this great thing. i could actually enter all my passwords into this spot on my phone. So he showed me how it worked. We entered one. Of course I had to use a password to get INTO the password section.

I realized yesterday that I have no memory at all of what the password was that I set to get into the password file on my phone.

My biggest fear in life right now is that when I die and end up in a hotter place than I had hoped...that it will be an endless questioning of what all my passwords were in life!

Where did the time go?

I never cease to be amazed at how quickly time passes. Then, I think - what have I been doing. Life - just Life. Work, laundry, dishes, sleep. Work, laundry, dishes, sleep. Sprinkled in with all that though has been a few movies (well, more than a few)! I know - I'm addicted to movies and reading. I've been reading books to help pass along suggestions to my mother. It has been fun to talk about books we've both read. I discovered Lori Wick - a "christian" writer. Just like all those LDS novels out there. But these are available through all libraries more readily and so I've gotten my mom hooked too. She has busied herself with many opportunities to serve and made many new friends. I'm so happy for her and the adjustment she is making. She still misses Daddy so very much, but it is getting easier for her, I think.

Last weekend, I went to the wedding of a dear friend. Well, in all honesty, I feel she is one of my "own". You know all those little kids I tended will always have a special place in my heart. Jessica Robertson is one of those dear people in my life. Now she is all grown up and married. Attending her wedding in the Manti Temple was very special to me.

For Mother's Day last weekend, my dear children gave me a new digital camera. I told them they cannot complain when I want to take pictures - afterall they've "contributed" to my urge by giving me a new one! I feel such freedom to "flash" whenever I want. Hopefully, there will be new pics to show on my blog.

The Bright Spot of My Job

One of the reasons I LOVE working at BYU is because of our student employees! I love these kids. Most of the people linked to my blog are due to friendships made during their time on campus. Then they graduate and think they can move on in life and usually that means moving AWAY from Utah. I treasure their friendship and rejoice in their accomplishments. But I always go through withdrawal and miss them so much. Such is the case of Annie. Annie has been one of our receptionists in our office. She works the first shift and was always a cheerie person in the morning. I loved having her around. She has officially graduated from BYU and is now "moving on". My only hope is that her husband still has a few years left on campus to finish his degree. I was very happy when Annie came to me with the camera in hand asking for a picture of the two of us.

Scott SLC Half Marathon

We all cheered Scott on as he ran the Salt Lake City Half Marathon on Saturday. It was great to see him accomplish his goal. Sharing moments together like this always makes me even more grateful I live close to my children.

Tricks from the "other" side...

So, I climb into bed last night and look up at my fan light. It has three light bulbs; one of which has been burnt out since before Christmas. When I say burnt out I mean it was even brown and looking dead. I sighed to myself and thought – I’ve got to remember to change that light bulb this Saturday. When I see it at night I’m too tired to even think about changing it. You can see how well that line of thinking has been working for me. So, then my mind raced to some show I watched where they were talking about how those that have crossed over to the other side can make lights flicker. I kind of laughed to myself and then said outloud, “Okay, Daddy, can you make the lights flicker?”

That light bulb that had been dead since before Christmas, turned on. I just burst out laughing. I figured –yeah, Daddy was always one for a good trick or joke. I just layed there for a while – I didn’t want to turn the light OFF. So, this morning I awoke and shook my head a bit…did that really happen last night? Or did I dream it all. I turned the light on – yup all three lights came on.

I shared the story with my mother this morning and she told me that they had a discussion after watching some TV show called CROSSING OVER and Daddy told her if it was possible after he passed on that he would play tricks on us. I think he is….

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity, Jig

The miles between here and Minnesota are always felt hard when flying. I usually do a non-stop flight. This time I flew Southwest Airlines. Yes, it was another flight of Minneapolis to Salt Lake City via China. No, just kidding - it just felt like it!

Back to the reality of being a working woman. There is comfort in a regular schedule. I'm grateful sometimes for the familiar things that are always there - like laundry, dishes and toilets to clean. It's the things you can do without thinking. Seriously, sometimes they can be a real blessing in our lives.

I, Cindy, having been born of goodly parents...

Yes, I recently started reading the Book of Mormon again. I only got to the first sentence and I was pondering. I often find myself saying...I am the luckiest of mothers or the luckiest of daughters, sisters...on and on. Even though I've had so much time to prepare for the loss of my father, I've decided in someways one can never really prepare. It is like so many things in life. You take a big breath and walk through it.

Sitting at the Memorial last Saturday in the Princeton Ward Chapel, which was full of family and friends, I was overcome with memories, love, gratitude, and feeling the presence of my father. Everyone was so kind, so understanding of the feeling of loss yet relief he is no longer hurting. Ed Hunt spoke and I realized the friendship he and my father shared was a wonderful treasure. Another friend of 50 or so years shared his tender feelings. Uncle Ronnie (one of the many "adopted" relatives) made us laugh while our minds were full of memories we all shared.

I'm so grateful for my parents. My life could have gone so many different directions. The one thing I treasure most is feeling like I'm "on track". My parent's example helps me to seek that out. Living by the spirit. Enduring to the end. Seeking the light.

Oh, how I will miss my Knight in Shining Armor.

Life is Fragile

I love my little sister very much. April is an "angel". She is always doing things for every else. She is impossible to keep down for long. I came in early to Minnesota as she was to have some "same day surgery" on Tuesday. Well, that ended up more exploratory surgery and she has received the news that she has endometrial cancer. I don't like the "C" word. I don't think anyone does. It threw us all into one of those moments where you feel like you are in slow motion and everything of the momment is imbedded into your mind. With it also came quickly the strength that comes from hope. April had received a blessing that told her all would be well. She is a fighter. I am here for only a few days, but already the sense of family is strengthening us all. Prayers, faith, hope and humor. We awoke this morning with determination. We had a list of errands and so we spent the morning together, April, my mother and I. Driving here and there. Laughing and crying together. These moments together are so few - so precious. We don't know what lies ahead for my sis, but I do know she is loved and watched over on both sides of the veil. I find deep comfort in knowing Daddy is ever so close. The days to come will reveal more. We pray for strength and treasure the time together...because we all know just how fragile this life is.

Fifth Grade Concert

Today I had the wonderful opportunity of attending the Fifth grade concert for my two nieces. Sometimes being an "out-of-state" auntie is very difficult for me. To be here and watch them perform today was awesome for me! I even made April take a picture - proof I was really in Minnesota with them. Aren't they the cutest girls! :)

Minnesota

Southwest flies to Minnesota now but It takes all day and you go by way of China. You think I'm kidding - don't you? I also needed Laurel's parking karma because when when we got to Minnesota there was no place to "park". The pilot had to keep circling (don't worry, we circled down over Iowa!) The weather was really bad and too many planes were trying to do the same thing we were - LAND! You know I'm desperate when I ask for a parachute. And I was serious. I had recently watched the NCIS episode...I didn't care what the results would be. I just was in a claustrophic, legs feel folded up under me for too long state of mind. The 17-year olds sitting by me thought it was a good idea too. That's actually what snapped me back to reality.

I've travelled to Minnesota for my father's memorial service. And speaking of reality... The house feels so empty and yet so full of my father. I finally figured it out last night. It is empty of his physical sense of being but his spirit is here. The only way I've ever been able to express this feeling is that it is like an umbrella. His protection, his love enveloping the house. I have tried to prepare for the reality of his passing. I decided there was no way and the closer I got to home, I told myself to just relax and feel and gave myself permission for whatever came.

With each moment, I'm just grateful for the gospel and for my father's example. I have found one common thread as we've all talked about dreams we've had of him. He is whole. My mother says he embraces her in her dreams with two arms. Oh, how happy he must be to feel whole. His body may have held him back in this life but his spirit has always soared. For so long his body was riddled with the effects of polio. He fought hard to do so much in this life. I am in constant awe of all that he has done. I am the luckiest and most blessed of daughters.

Serious Placemat Problem

So, Laurel was setting the table for Sunday dinner. She wanted placemats AND she wanted to use the placemats from when they were kids. Yes, each of the kids had their own placemat - you know it was one of those things that they got to pick out and it saved on quarrels and proclaimed their SPOT at the table. We do interesting things as parents to keep the peace, don't we?

Well, anyway, Laurel declared we had a "problem"...Brian doesn't have a placemat!!! Apparently, we have a new way that people are declared an official member of the Cindy Swenson Family. So...do I have to let Brian "pick" out his placemat? Oh, how I wish that this was my only problem for the day!!!!

So, often while I'm at the computer cute little Millie (my grandchild) has to be right next to me or being held. One day when she was being very persistent, I finally just brought her little bed and plopped it on the counter next to me. She happily slept - periodically looking up at me to make sure I was still there. She is a very cute little Chiweenie and has brought much joy to our lives. She definitely is Laurel's "child" however, is being spoiled by her "grandma" --ME! She loves to go on walks and in the car. I never thought I'd ever be one of those women with a dog in her purse...but the older I get the less I care what others think! Which probably means I'm getting healthier mentally as I grow older! So this post is in honor of my Silly Millie Girl who is basking in a spot of sun as I type.

My Children's Friends

One of the great blessings of being a mother is getting to know the friends of my children. My kids have some great friends. What a blessing in their lives...and mine!!!

So, having written previously about how much fun Valentine's Day is...

I came home from work to a package on my back door step. Really the package said to Vanessa and Cindy Swenson but I couldn't wait for Vanessa. Yes, I opened the box! But if you knew what I knew you would have torn into it too. See the package was from Vanessa's friend Gretchen. One of Gretchen's claim to fame in our family is that she is an awesome cook. I just knew that inside that box were some little heart cookies...that melt in your mouth when you eat them. They have just a little touch of jam. Oh, they are SO good. Yes, not only did I open the package without Vanessa but I also partook of the wondrous stash of sweets. The hand-made Valentine found it's home on my fridge. The homemade carmels were frozen solid. But did you know that if you suck on a frozen carmel after a while it thaws? I love that Gretchen girl! But it isn't just for her famous food. I love her for the great woman she is, and the wonderful friend to Vanessa and all of us that she has become.

I love Valentines Day

It's true. Those that know me well know that I really, really like the holiday. I often say - what is better than a day that encourages telling people we love them. We should have Valentine's Day more often than once a year!

So, it is probably no surprise when I mention that sending valentines is very important to me and I love to send valentines to the children in my life. I shop early and pick them out very carefully. I really love Mary Englebreit's valentines and always find them at The Quilted Bear store in Provo. I love thinking of how they will be so excited to get their very own MAIL. Okay, so now you know another weird part of me. Just add it to the list of many.

Anyway, this year I went to my mailbox the other day and was so happy to find a brown envelope with heart stickers on it. YES! I'd received some valentines. Of course they are on my fridge. That's where you put homemade valentines from the 'Vegas cousins!

I also was very happy to be invited to be a part of the valentine box exchange with the "Imaging Office" in our division at work. I love those college kids in that office. I loved writing their names on the Disney Cars Valentines and attaching them to a rice krispie treat. But even more so I loved opening each little valentine from them. So for just a moment the 50+ woman in me reverted to a little girl and I enjoyed every second!

So whether giving or getting Valentines - I love Valentine's Day and all the great people in my life that are my "valentines".

Crisis

So, I've been having a rough time this winter with bronchitis. My wonderful Primary Care Physician and I decided allergy testing was in order. It had been 30 years ago that I'd had testing done so...off I went to a great doc in Provo.

He asked me all kinds of questions. I especially liked it when we talked about the fact that I sneeze terribly while at work. I'm pretty sure that if they could have a little test that somehow measured allergy to work that my arm would have had a very LARGE welt in that spot. Maybe I'm just allergic to the thought of work. Anyway...

So some of you may have noticed that my family picture on this blog has me holding a cat. I grew up in a family where we had pets. Pets that were part of the family - not just animals. So my family has had cats and dogs. Our pets have REALLY been a part of our family. We've all felt the same and enjoyed and loved our animals. Do we love them - well, if having the same number of photos of your animals as you do your children is proof, then yes! I was always amazed when I would get my film developed to find the kids had grabbed my camera and taken pictures. I've never seen so many pictures of animals asleep in weird positions. So that is why we have so many pictures.

Hence, the crisis moment that will forever be in my mind. You know the feeling. It's like life slows and you're in slow motion and every feeling is embedded in the memory of the moment. Yes, I have developed a severe allery to cat dander. Simon is doing me in.

I am heartbroken. Know anyone that would like a beautiful cat? Seriously, I have no options with this one.

A Little Time with Laurel...

There's nothing better than spending time with my kids. Laurel and I did a little shopping and then saw a movie yesterday. The new store we scoped is Dear Lizzie. What a fun store - check out the website: http://www.mydearlizzie.com/ Then we went to a movie entitled He's Just Not That In to You. It was okay. The theater was packed and Laurel dubbed the audience a "We're in Provo audience". Yes, they really got into it.

I also explored a new bakery that has opened in East bay. It was in a newspaper article and I've been waiting for the bakery to open: http://www.thesweettoothfairy.com/index.html I love the creativity - not to mention the cakes bites are out of this world!

Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays. I always say - what could be better than spreading a little love around. I felt like a first-grader as I addressed my valentines yesterday. I think Hallmark will always be around...I'm keeping them in business.

Anyway - to those reading this - Happy Valentine's Day. Make sure you tell the people closest to you that you love them!

Why do I keep getting lost in life?

1. Once a mother, always a mother.
2. I care deeply about people and am an official "chat box" not to be confused with chatterbox, although I do my share of that. Everywhere I go I run into people and we have to "chat" a few minutes to catch up. Some times I am overwhelmed with the many good people in my life and feel so blessed.
3. There is just so much. Last week was incredibly insane. I sat each night and went back over my day and asked myself where I could have done something differently. You know those quiet moments when you ponder and search deep and sing the song, "I'm trying to be like Jesus" and realize you have fallen short but you are trying. I remember when my children were little and how crazy some of those days and nights were. We are silly if we think life gets easier.
4. Oh, that I were a sponge. I just want to read and learn. There is so much around us, so many opportunities. I was trying to read a book last night and realize I had reread a paragraph three times and my brain just wasn't functioning.
5. Sometimes it is just more fun to live and enjoy life than blog about what has happened!